Un-Spicy Relationships

The opposite of a health relationship is an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships revolve around control, fear, and lack of respect. Usually, one partner has control while the other cowers in resentment or fear. Abusive relationships can involve threats, name-calling, blaming, guilt- tripping, jealous questioning, and outright violence. (Sexulity and U)

Being in an abusive relationship hurts your self-esteem.

You owe it to yourself to get out.

Warning Signs

When a boyfriend or girlfriend uses verbal insults, mean language, nasty putdowns, gets physical by hitting or slapping, or forces someone into sexual activity, it’s an important warning sign of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.

Ask yourself, does my boyfriend or girlfriend:

  • get angry when I don’t drop everything for him or her?
  • criticize the way I look or dress, and say I’ll never be able to find anyone else who would date me?
  • keep me from seeing friends or from talking to any other guys or girls?
  • want me to quit an activity, even though I love it?
  • ever raise a hand when angry, like he or she is about to hit me?
  • try to force me to go further sexually than I want to?

These aren’t the only questions you can ask yourself. If you can think of any way in which your boyfriend or girlfriend is trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, isolate you from the rest of your world, or — this is a big one — harm you physically or sexually, then it’s time to get out, fast. Let a trusted friend or family member know what’s going on and make sure you’re safe.

It can be tempting to make excuses or misinterpret violence, possessiveness, or anger as an expression of love. But even if you know that the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy. No one deserves to be hit, shoved, or forced into anything he or she doesn’t want to do.

Issues facing the Caribbean Region

  • Domestic Violence
  • Sexual Harassment:
  • Rape and Incest:
Sexual harassment, domestic violence, rape and incest are all illegal acts. The first step in addressing abuse is to report the incident to the relevant authorities or find a confidant in a teacher, mentor or guidance counsellor.

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